“I was never so alive as when I was winning this throne,” said king Robert Baratheon, “or so dead as now that I’ve won it.”1
At a friend’s recommendation I’ve been reading George R. R. Martin’s The Game of Thrones. While reading yesterday on a flight I came across king Robert’s statement.
My geek-take is that he got out of his flow when he switched roles from warrior to king. He thought becoming king would be a promotion, something good. But it wasn’t, because it took him out of the role he loved best. And eventually (spoiler alert) it cost him his life.
In my previous post I described flow as getting “lost in pursuit” of a challenging goal. When we’re in flow, we’re more alive. When we’re out of flow, we’re less alive.
But different people find flow in different ways. My friend Sue finds flow when shopping, among many other things. She gets “lost in pursuit” of the great deals, the new styles, all the ideas and options. She’s there for three hours and it feels like ten minutes. She’s never more alive than when shopping.
Not me, though. If I’m at the mall for one hour it feels like ten. I’m tired and depressed and sore and angry. I’m never closer to living death than when shopping.
The key is to find the roles and activities that make us alive, while avoiding those that turn us into the Walking Dead.
And another thing. Realize that some promotions are demotions in disguise.
1George R. R. Martin, The Game of Thrones (New York: Bantam Books Mass Market, 2011), p. 310.
